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55 Funny Adult Jokes That Will Have You Cry-Laughing

Laughter, they say, is the best medicine. Especially when it comes to humor that walks the fine line between wit and dirty. Funny adult jokes often take center stage. In a world where the stresses of everyday life can sometimes weigh us down, a hearty laugh can serve as a much-needed release.

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Funny Adult Jokes

These funny adult jokes are about the pressures of adulthood.

It's no secret that humor has the incredible power to unite, uplift, and heal. Adult humor, in particular, has the uncanny ability to tickle our funny bones. These adult jokes also test the limits of morality.

In this article, we look at adult humor. We will serve up a collection of funny adult jokes that will make you cry-laughing. It ranges from witty one-liners that push the envelope to clever quips that dance on the edge. We've explored the comedic landscape to curate a selection that will make you laugh. Even if these funny adult jokes may make you blush a little.

So, dear reader, prepare to take a humor-infused journey that transcends the everyday. Look at these delightfully absurd and dirty jokes.

These funny adult jokes are not for the faint of heart but for those who enjoy laughter in all its dirty. Grab a seat, ease up, and let the adult jokes commence!

Funny Adult Jokes

1. "Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

2. "What is the first thing a man puts in a woman when they get married? The wedding ring."

3. "What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me, I’m going in."
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Funny Adult Jokes

4. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."

5. "My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her."

6. "Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you. But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police."

7. "What does being born in September tell you about your parents? They started the year off with a bang."

8. "I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around.”"

9. "What’s a lesbian’s favorite Pokemon? Squirtle."

10. "Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera."

11. "You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice."

12. "Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll? Ken came in another box."

13. "What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? Thanks for coming!"

14. "When should condoms be used? Every conceivable occasion."

15. "69% of people find something dirty in every sentence."

16. "An Australian kiss – the same as a French kiss, but down under."

17. "Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!"

18. "I just found an origami porn channel, but it’s paper view only."

19. "Your body is 70 percent water, and I’m thirsty."

20. "I’m trying to finish writing a script for a porno movie, but there are just too many holes in the plot."

21. "Why don’t witches wear underwear? Because they need a better grip."

22. A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. She said, “Depends what’s in it for me.”

23. "How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls."

24. "A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ."

Funny Adult Jokes

25. "Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning."

26. "What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year."

27. "What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block? A beaver dam."

28. What does a perverted frog say? "Rubbit."

29. "Why does a mermaid wear seashells? Because she outgrew her B-shells."

30. "Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it."

31. “I didn’t have sex at all, not a scrap til I was 67. And that was cos I’d no small change for the window cleaner.” – Victoria Wood

32. “You never know where to look when eating a banana.” – Peter Kay

33. “I’ve never laughed a woman in to bed, but I’ve laughed one out of bed many times.” – Jack Whitehall

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35. “You should only have sex with a famous person if you really, really genuinely want to tell people about it afterwards.” – Sara Pascoe

36. “I accidentally filled the Escort with diesel. She died.” – Gary Delaney

37. “Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, ‘Yes, who did you think it was?’” – Jimmy Carr

38. "I’m not a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight."

39. "We can go out for dinner, as long as I can have you for dessert."

40. What did one butt cheek say to the other? "Together, we can stop this crap."

41. "I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me."

Funny Adult Jokes

42. “Las Vegas and Glasgow have a lot in common: they’re the only two places in the world where you can pay for sex with chips.” – Frankie Boyle

43. "I grew out my undercut, but I could still get under you."

44. What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato? A dictator.

45. “What do you call a video of two toads having sex? Frogspawn.” – David Ephgrave

46. "What do you call an expert fisherman? A master baiter."

47. "Why did the squirrel swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry."

48. "What comes after 69? Mouthwash."

49. "How can you tell if your husband is dead? The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote."

50. "Dear NASA: Your mom thought I was big enough. —Pluto"

51. "Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died."

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